


wish i was dead like you are.

by kqrlnap



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dead Wilbur Soot, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Insane Wilbur Soot, Multi, Polyamory, Unhealthy Relationships, and the lines are very blurred on if theyre actually a thing, but will follow the timeline of l'manburg, for the second half, insane oc, is mainly set around the beginning of l'manburg, kind of wilbur x oc but its not healthy, like really heavy, main oc is karlnapitys daughter, theyre insane and seek comfort in eachother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29014611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kqrlnap/pseuds/kqrlnap
Summary: her legs ache, her head and heart are pounding, but she can't stop. “please, take me back, back to when we were happy..” she whispers desperately, gripping her heart through her fathers old hoodie. the familiar green and purple lights flash around her, and she free falls into the void she's become acquainted with for the past hundreds of years.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	1. its time she goes back

veren can't stop running.

her legs ache, her head and heart are pounding, but she can't stop. “please, take me back, back to when we were happy..” she whispers desperately, gripping her heart through her fathers old hoodie. the familiar green and purple lights flash around her, and she free falls into the void she's become acquainted with for the past multiple years.

then she's back. back to when she was happy. 

she’s sitting at a dinner table, her fathers sitting near the head, as she fidgets with her hands. “ver, clearly, you have primarily karl’s blood. the purple and green eyes… its obvious.” her father, sapnap, smiles fondly at her. 

veren is fourteen this time, quackity’s beanie is navy with light blue and red stripes, sapnap’s scars are as prominent as ever and the torso of karl’s hoodie is purple. one of the cursed timelines, but one that stays good for a while. 

veren grins. “yeah, dad. is there anything else i should know before i get into this?”

and again she's running, but now it's towards something solid. something concrete. something she knows is there. “bea!” she yells, but the colourful girl she knows as tubbo’s daughter and her own best friend disappeared upon her touch, crumbling and blowing away like dust in the wind.

veren sits. she sits at the edge of l’manburg’s wreckage, untouched since it last went up in tnt. she finds comfort in this place, despite it being something she was never able to experience.

then she feels the red take over, and across the way, someone can see it in her eyes. the glint.

the glint that phil saw in wilbur’s eyes, the glint that no one noticed in niki’s eyes.

veren is done trying to save everyone.

its time she goes back. back to the dream smp’s early days. back to when wilbur was alive, back to when her parents were young, back to when bea didn’t exist. 

and then she was falling. and she landed right in the middle of the founding of l’manburg. 

standing tall, she grinned lazily, watching everyone’s shocked faces, “allow me to introduce myself!” she starts, her eyes holding a dark, dark vision.

“my name is veren, and i’d like to speak to anyone who can grant me citizenship around here.”

wilbur stares, blinking, but right’s himself and stands tall, smirking. “would you prefer the psycho-maniac green boy, or me?”


	2. blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> veren sides with l'manburg.

wilbur stares, blinking, but right’s himself and stands tall, smirking. “would you prefer the psycho-maniac green boy, or me?”

“you, personally, seem more appealing.” veren was never told the story of wilbur soot, but based off of what was in the early history books, he seemed like a nice guy who wanted freedom for his people, but what he got was a country that was broken from the start.

veren cracks her knuckles, her grin growing wider, “lead the way, pretty boy.” she teases, but when he barely reacts, she pouts and follows him anyways.

“this is l’manburg, the newest country led by me, of course.” they both laugh, but suddenly, veren heard voices in her head. she couldn't quite decipher the words until they were shouting.

“you never fucking cared about me!” that was her own voice. 

“you’re only with me for power!” and that was… that one was wilbur’s.

and then it was silent. 

“veren, are you okay?” she heard wilbur’s voice ask, which knocked her out of her trance and back into reality. “yeah, uh, sorry. continue?”

wilbur then showed her the caravan, and the few other places they had around. “this is… really cool.” veren says, thinking of the bottomless pit it would become in much less than a year.

“yeah, it is.” wilbur smiles softly. “WE HAVE A WOMAN?!” a loud voice yelled, and veren flinched. “god, tommy, please shut the fuck up.” wilbur sighed, as veren recovered and instantly started laughing.

“how old are you?” tommy asked, and veren thought as wilbur reprimanded him for asking that question. she decided on the age she should be, chronologically, in her own universe and timeline, and said “19.” before their fighting could get any louder. 

tommy grinned, and wilbur shoved him. “he’s like 12, i d-”

“i am 15!”

“okay, i genuinely believe that i've had enough of tommy. veren, why don't we get started on a house for you?” wil said, beginning to walk away from them as tommy frowned and ran away to go find who she presumed was tubbo. 

as wilbur and veren collected wood, she decided to spark up an interesting conversation. “so, how did l’manburg begin?”

“actually, with a drug van. i made a caravan, invited tommy in, then tubbo came along, and before i knew it, i had a whole team assembled filled with people who wanted to live in l’manburg as well. niki, jack, eret, fundy, and of course, tommy, tubbo and i.” wilbur grinned. “we’re attempting to fight for independence from the mainland right now, so if you really wanna live here, you’d have to help.” he continued.

“of course i’ll help, everyone seems so nice, i’d really like to stay here.” 

then its a few days later, and the l’manburgians stand nervously watching tommy and dream’s final showdown. 

“9… 10!” and dream wins.

“wait- wait dream, if you grant l’manburg independence… i’ll give you my discs.”

“tommy wait-” veren starts, her body wanting so desperately to stand in front of tommy and protect him. but she knows he's growing up, she knows he doesn't want her protection right now, so she stays back, and they come to an agreement. 

tommy’s discs for l’manburg’s independence. 

they celebrate, but veren can see tommy doesn't see it as as much of a win as the rest of them do. 

“i’m sorry we lost ‘em, tommy.” she whispers, pulling him into a short hug. “it's okay. at least l’manburg is safe.” he mumbles back. 

veren smiles softly and pulls away, walking away to her newly built house. she stares burning holes into the figure of dream she can see watching their celebration, the red enters her mind once again. 

“i’m gonna fucking kill him, one day.”

she hears wilbur’s footstephs behind her, so she attempts to wipe her tears and she turns to look at him. “holy fuck, veren.”

“what's up, will?”

“why the fuck are you crying blood.”

**Author's Note:**

> the first chapter is really short because its just an introduction, but the next one will be much longer!!


End file.
